


And It Only Started With This

by GayCheerios



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Boys In Love, Cuddling, M/M, Opening Up, Oral Fixation, Past Mentions of Abuse, Trust Issues, anxiety attack, trans shuichi saihara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayCheerios/pseuds/GayCheerios
Summary: He was glad that Saihara trusted him, because he came to trust Saihara easier, for his boyfriend, it was a bit more difficult. Even if it was something as insignificant as his oral fixation. He was finally cracking open his boyfriend’s shell
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	And It Only Started With This

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is entirely  
> a) indulgent  
> b) me projecting SMACK onto saihara
> 
> yeah i have an oral fixation and my anxiety decides to make it worse, and vice versa. if im not able to eat, or chew on something for a long period of time i start to get anxious, and when i’m anxious i chew on things, so really it’s not a win win situation either way. but uhhh the whole morale of the story is this:
> 
> be open with your partner 
> 
> being open is the key to relationships, not saying you should share every secret, but rather, be open with your partner, tell them things about you, so that they are able to help you, theyre not your therapist, but they are here to help
> 
> sappy shit over enjoy!!

Saihara is watching a movie, when he gets the itch to chew on something. Something that isn’t chewy, no, something hard to just  _ clamp  _ down on. He starts drumming his long nails on tve T.V remote. Saihara’s eyes dart to the long black remote. He has the urge to...put it in his mouth. This happens so  _ often  _ that it’s gotten to be a problem. As gross as it sounds, he has the  _ biggest  _ urge to just chew on the remote. Chew it all up. He’ll usually satisfy this urge with chewing on wrappers, and chewing on other things in secret. He has a specific bracelet he chews on, and  _ something else  _ but...

Saihara has an oral fixation and when he’s anxious it gets  _ insufferable.  _ It’s not like it’s something big-it’s a part of his everyday life, and he handles it just fine, but when his anxiety starts to kick up, it gets bad. He usually just chews gum in any case, but it just doesn’t  _ do it  _ for him. It keeps it at bay. 

Ouma is sitting on his bed, with him, watching a movie. His boyfriend is focused on the movie, and isn’t picking up on Saihara’s fidgeting.  _ He hopes… _

Saihara just really wants to  _ bite  _ into something. He is but an idiot. In a fit of mass anxiety he ate all of his hard candies he had  _ specifically saved _ for this type of situation. He definitely could not just start chewing on a chapstick cap either. 

Saihara started off with biting his nails. But then he moved onto actual objects, and biting the inside of his mouth, which might have been worse. He always hated biting his nails too at that point it was just habit. It had felt so gross, he didn’t know where his hands had been! But that could also be said for most of the items he ends up putting in his mouth anyway. But his nails just..grossed him out now, besides, he didn’t like chewing up his nails. He usually painted them to prevent it. Sometimes he’d still go back to biting his nails, but his backup was usually his lips, but right now there wasn’t anything left to bite. 

Saihara was running out of options at this point. The black, hard plastic of the remote was so tempting, the chapstick on his nightstand looked  _ perfect  _ to chew on. The more time Saihara went without being able to chew on something- _ anything  _ the more anxious he became. The movie was long forgotten for him at this point, he needed something to chew on and at this point it was becoming unbearable. 

Saihara looked around the room for something decent to chew on when he was met with amethyst eyes gazing into his.  _ He definitely couldn’t chew on those… _

“Saihara-chan, are you ok? You’ve been paying attention to everything  _ but  _ the movie. You look worried.”

Well shit. What was he supposed to say? ‘Sorry Ouma I need to go chew on something like a three year old be right back.’ Like hell. “Oh uh-yeah I’m ok!” Saihara stumbled. He cursed himself for being so jittery.

Ouma giggled, and pressed his body against Saihara’s. “My beloved Saihara-chan. I can tell when you’re lying. C’mon, what’s the matter? You can tell me.” 

The pet name made him blush. Well...He has to learn to be open right? That’s how relationships work. And he loves and treasures his relationship with Ouma, so...he has to be honest. 

Saihara’s silent for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “So...I have this thing called an oral fixation and I get a really big urge to chew on stuff. And usually I’m pretty good with it but my anxiety is making it a lot worse right now. I ran out of edible stuff that helps me out and this remote is looking  _ super  _ tempting and-“ Saihara takes a breath and tries to calm himself down. 

“I’m kinda freaking out right now?” Saihara says between nervous laughter, as he looks to Ouma with anxious eyes, today’s anxiety had manifested, and buried itself in Saihara’s core. 

“Ok, Saihara, breathe, what do you usually do to stop this?” Ouma says soothingly, his voice becoming that ever so familiar and sweet tone. 

“I mean it usually doesn’t get this bad and it’s really stupid and I’m really sorry-“ 

“Shuichi.” Ouma looked him dead in the eyes, and stopped the other boy’s whole train of thought. “What do you do to stop it from getting out of hand. I’m here, don’t be sorry. What can we do to stop this right now?” Ouma’s voice was stern, but didn’t have any edge to it, it had more of the soft undertones from before. 

Saihara took a deep breath to calm himself, that was the first step. He wasn’t one hundred percent calm, but he was working towards it. 

“Good.” He heard Ouma hum. “If anything, pretend I’m not here. Do what you would do if I wasn’t here.” 

Saihara breathed some more, stopping his anxiety attack from progressing any further. Right. Pretend he wasn’t here, ok, he could do that. Saihara breathed once more, as he went to his dresser, and grabbed a bead bracelet. Each bead was fairly large, with a few smaller beads near where the knot was tied. The beads were colored blue, purple, and white. Each bead had teeth indents in them, all over. Saihara put two of the beads in his mouth and began to chew, he felt himself begin to relax. His anxiety was starting to die down. 

When Saihara was ready, he wiped the bracelet off, and slipped it on his wrist, to sit next to Ouma. Ouma said nothing, as Saihara breathed in and out slowly. Soon enough he turned to Ouma. “I’m calm now, I just can get...really anxious and-and it kinda seeps into other aspects of my life and it definitely messes me up. I dunno...when I haven’t chewed on something, or eaten something in a long period of time I kinda just…” Saihara trails off into silence, only to have his boyfriend giggle.

“Saihara-chan, it’s ok! This isn’t something to be worried about, it doesn’t really change anything? It’s not as significant as you think. You’re still my sweet, beloved Saihara-chan!” Ouma says with a smile, hugging his boyfriend close, and cuddling

up to him. “Now c’mon, let’s pick out something else to watch, and  _ maybe  _ this time you’ll pay attention.” He teases, kissing Saihara’s cheek. 

Saihara blushes, as he rests his head on Ouma’s shoulder. “Sure, pick something for us to watch…” Saihara mumbles, his mini

anxiety attack definitely taking a toll on him by now. Saihara’s anxiety-if anything, only made him weary most of the time. 

Ouma took the remote from the bed, and flipped through all the different movies and shows, until he settled on a magical girl movie…

“Ok Saihara, so this is-“ Kokichi was going to explain the new character to appear, but he had found Saihara’s head in his lap, fast asleep. He noticed that his boyfriend had moved his head but...when did he fall asleep. Ouma giggled, didn’t matter. He clicked off the T.V, and focused on his Saihara. He gently pet his head, and was rewarded with a content little noise. 

He was glad Saihara was able to be more open. They both had issues of their own, with Saihara’s high running anxiety and Ouma’s own compulsive lying, they both had a lot of issues to sort out. But they had one in common-trust issues. Saihara was never able to trust his parents, after all, they had never accepted him after they figured out that Saihara wasn’t their precious little girl. Saihara had been alone for  _ so long _ whereas Ouma came from a loving family, but was tormented by students at school. 

He was glad that Saihara trusted him, because he came to trust Saihara easier, for his boyfriend, it was a bit more difficult. Even if it was something as insignificant as his oral fixation. He was finally cracking open his boyfriend’s shell.

And it only started with his oral fixation...

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: saihara’s bracelet is modeled after *my* bracelet that i chew on! except mine is green, yellow, and pink!


End file.
